Foxy Decision-making, part 2 - My Foxy Formula
Foxy Decision-making, part 2
Hello, and welcome to part 2
of the foxy decision-making series!
It’s time to get nerdy. You may have thought we checked that box last week, but really, we are just getting started. Muah ha ha ha ha. This week is about the science of weighing alternatives to facilitate decision-making that is most aligned with our true desires. So get ready, because I’m going to share my foxy decision-making formula for the first time, with you!
Last week, we discussed how the best way to make decisions is knowingly, creatively, and with trust in ourselves and our commitments. We’ve covered a portion of the knowing component by informing ourselves about available choices through research. Now, we are going to round out the knowing component by getting creative and using data to better understand our preferences.
When we are strategic in our decision-making, in understanding our alternatives and knowing ourselves, we optimize the likelihood that our decisions will more efficiently and effectively take us in the direction we desire. We can also better position ourselves for the types of opportunities we desire, to which we may have previously lacked access. Perhaps most important, introducing and weighing data as part of our decision-making process can reduce decision-paralysis and make it easier to see the “right” choice.
All too often we make big decisions relying solely upon a feeling, gut instinct. Or we're unable to make a decision because we can’t discern a strong enough feeling to push or pull us to a particular alternative. Well, our guts really count, and we should definitely trust how we feel. However, the trust we place in our instincts should come AFTER we’ve analyzed the data.
So, where do we get all this data I’ve been talking about? We create it! If we can quantify how we feel and what we value, then we can allow our assigned ratings to determine the best available alternative under the circumstances. Here’s my formula: (1) set the foundation, (2) weigh the alternatives, (3) simmer on the winner, (4) act on your gut.
To apply the formula, simply grab your favorite writing utensils (I love whiteboards and markers for brainstorming and decision-making), and follow my guide below.
Set the Foundation
With every decision, we are choosing from an infinite combination of variables and acting upon one version that we see as an option. If you scoffed at my use of infinite, I understand. This step of setting the decision’s foundation may be easier for you, because you already see a limited world of possibility. And that’s exactly what you need.
To set the foundation, we must choose the ultimate values, the parameters, the criteria in which the decision’s alternatives will be confined. Here’s an example. If we need to make money, we set a boundary to confine our money-making options to only those that are legal. That’s a no-brainer to me (after all, I practiced law before becoming an artist). But that could be an active decision for someone who wants to be a good citizen. The important thing is to list the absolutes that will govern our decision.
An example from my life arises from my and my husband’s recent housing search (we’re in escrow, yay!). We had absolute parameters of: located in Austin, bike commutable to my husband’s work, square footage minimum, price maximum, not located on a floodplain, and room for Merrifox! Basically all we wanted was a foxy haven. 🦊 These are the criteria we wrote down to set our foundation. They were our essential criteria - we would not take action, i.e. make an offer, unless all of these parameters were met.
Weigh the Alternatives
Now that we’ve narrowed the world of possible choices to our foundation, we must select from within it. For a complex decision, like buying a house, there may be yet another infinite world of choices even within the confines of our foundation. So, we must find a way to weigh the alternatives.
At this point, numbers and flexibility are our friends. In a perfect world, our preferences would be perfectly recognizable among the alternatives, and it would be very easy to choose well. In our imperfect world, we can use numbers to assign value to otherwise unquantifiable aspects of decisions in order to make our preferred options more recognizable. We then must balance the options, in a flexible manner, to determine which alternative is best suited to serving our true desires. I’ll explain further with my housing example.
There are so many components to every property. There are the legal factors like zoning, lot restrictions, easements, homeowner’s associations... ughhhhh. There are also the fun aesthetics like the house’s style, charm, natural lighting, high ceilings... (are you getting an idea for my preferences?). And so much more.
Chances are, we have particular preferences that may be available in certain combinations with one property, and different combinations with another property. This means we need to be flexible when weighing alternatives, and try to balance our preferences with what reality offers. The same goes for big decisions. And even little decisions like which kind of cookies to bake - can I get oatmeal and chocolate chip all in one? Raisins, you’re dead to me. (Here, the cookie is the foundational dessert choice, and the scrumptious additions are alternatives that can be implemented individually, in combinations, or not at all.)
So how do we decide? Let’s assign each alternative a number on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 highest. But we are not allowed to use the 7 or 8. This will distinguish our preferences to extremes so we can easily recognize them. Rate every available alternative.
We’d never get to the end of this super long newsletter if I used the housing example. Too many alternatives! So let’s continue with cookies. Yum! Here we go. Plain cookies are cool but not very exciting and I love additions, so 5. Oatmeal cookies are more interesting but feel like oat cakes without something extra and I’m not a horse, I’m a fox, so 2. Again, screw the raisins. Chocolate chip cookies are wonderful and gloriously nostalgic and go with my coffee in the morning when I crave chocolate the most, so 10. Finally, chocolate chip oatmeal cookies are deliciously fun with great texture and taste, so 10.
OMG I’m having another cookie dilemma! This is a good example because sometimes alternatives appear equal even after rating them. There are several ways to handle this situation. If the alternatives are mutually exclusive - we can only have one, to the exclusion of the other - then isolate those two alternatives and rate again. On a deserted island, the last cookie of my life would be...and fill in the blank. Or maybe we can have both options over time, but we can only have one at a time. Consider whether and how it may be possible to enjoy multiple alternatives.
If we are still dissatisfied with the winning alternative(s), maybe there’s another option available that better matches our preferences. It’s easy to get lost in the weeds of decision-making and get too focused on a particular set of alternatives. Remember that there are many, many options available. We can always revisit last week’s newsletter about closing information gaps to better understand our alternatives and explore additional options.
As soon as I ran the deserted island example, I felt dissatisfied with my options. So, I visited my recipe bank and instantly recalled my favorite: chocolate chip pecan cookies. Yesssssssssss. Foxes love love love pecans. 10, 10, 10, super 10. Previous options rated as 10 are demoted to 9s. And raisins, you never stood a chance.
Simmer on the Winner
Now that we’ve got a winner, we should give it a rest before moving forward. The bigger the decision, the more time we should take to reflect and wait to see how we feel about the alternative we are selecting. Let it process in the background. The saying, “sleep on it” has merit in this context because our brains process our days and upcoming tasks while we rest. If we have made a choice that we are about to act upon, we will wake up knowing whether it’s right for us.
In this time of reflection, we can also chat about our intended decision with others. Proceed with caution! There can be value in this because some friends and family are excellent listeners, know us well, and honor our preferences over their own. However, sometimes using another person as a sounding board can instill their fears, expectations, and desires into our decision-making process and pollute our ability to rate our preferences and trust our instincts. Reassessing alternatives and conducting additional research can sometimes remedy such a situation, but it’s hard to ignore a voice once it’s in our heads. So, take your time, and you do you, my foxy friend.
Act on Your Gut
Taking these steps should allow us to clarify how we truly feel about available alternatives by distinguishing them to the point that one clearly feels like the best option for us. The data we’ve created should reveal the alternative most aligned with our true desires. So, trust your gut and take action! You've made your decision!
If somehow we still don’t feel ready to act, then we need to troubleshoot our application of the Merrifox decision formula. Dread, regret, and other negative feelings are good cause to reassess and re-align ourselves to our true preferences. Here are some scenarios, and solutions!
If we are still torn between similar alternatives, we can weigh additional factors to better differentiate our options. If we are still torn between dissimilar alternatives, we can rate them as though they were mutually exclusive to determine our true preference. Or, do more research! Maybe there’s an information gap that is preventing us from discerning differences or realizing our preferences.
If you need help troubleshooting, or want to chat about using the Merrifox formula to make a particular decision, I’m here for you! Feel free to reach out anytime. Please also continue to share this newsletter with other foxes - I’d love to help them too!
Next week, we’ll continue our decision series with a discussion of the benefits of foxy decision-making, including how to combat fear, as well as the benefits of actively deciding our lives. If you’ve made it this far, I’m so proud. We nerdy foxes are going to make our lives and this earth a better place.
Three cheers for my lovely foxes,
“Visionary decision-making happens at the intersection of intuition and logic.”
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